Merphology of Medical Education


Fuller's rule

Study diseases while you are healthy.

Welch's rule

Medical education is by no means completed in a medical school; here it is just beginning.

The first law of scientific progress

Advancement in science can be measured by the rate at which exceptions to previously established laws accumulate.

Consequences

1. There are always more exceptions than rules.

2. There are always exceptions to current exceptions.

3. By the time exceptions are mastered and widely applied, no one remembers the rules to which they apply.

Mr. Cooper's Law

If in some scientific text you do not understand a specific word, do not pay attention to it. This text will be understandable without it.

Bogovich's investigation

If a given text has no meaning without this word, then it will have no meaning with it either.

Finagle's Creed

Science is always true. And don't let the facts lead you astray.

Robert's axiom

There are only mistakes.

Berman's Corollary

One person's mistake is another person's input.

G.N. Mencken

Those who can do it. Those who do not know how - teach.

Martin's Supplement

Those who do not know how to teach lead.

Prescher's law for interns

If you do not know the answer to a question, the senior doctor will definitely ask it.

Hernstein's law

The attention paid to the teacher is a constant that does not depend on the size of the audience; thus, as the number of listeners increases, the amount of attention given to the lecturer by one student decreases in direct proportion to the number of those present.

Second Law of Final Exams

During the most challenging exam for you, the most attractive and attractive student on the course will sit next to you for the first time.

Dolmen laws of medical publishing.

1. If the totality of the received data does not support your conclusion, remove some of the data.

2. If after that no data remains, leave the ones you need.

Duggen's Law for Scientific Research

The most valuable quotation will be the one for which you are unable to establish the source.

Consequence

Romingeoa Rule for Teachers

1. If a student asks the teacher for the second time whether he has read his essay on a book, then the student himself probably has not read this book.

2. If daily attendance at classes is required, there will be an increased no-show at the scheduled exam. If attending classes was optional, then students will appear on the exam, whom you have not seen before.

Medicine Teaching Law by Stendrup

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you will have to catch up.

Jones principle for intrins

Experience allows you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

Dolmien's law for practical training

Anatomy course.

When studying the biceps muscles, it turns out that the corpse you are examining has already been amputated four times in the arms and legs.

Neurology course.

When testing short-term memory, your patient will be in a coma.

Shingman's Guide to Medical Jargon

"It has been known for a long time" - I have not seen the original link.

"A clear trend is obvious here" - this data is virtually meaningless.

"It wasn't possible to get definitive answers to all the questions back then" - the experiment was unsuccessful, but I still hope to see it published.

"Three of the available samples were selected for detailed research." - the other results made no sense at all.

"Typical Results Shown Here" - This graph is the cutest of all.

"The corresponding results will be given in a subsequent message" - I might come back to this someday if forced (or financed).

"The most reliable results were obtained by Jones" - he was my graduate student; his academic degree depended on this publication.

"Based on my experience" - once.

"In a case that was observed later on a similar one" - twice.

"In a whole series of cases" - three times.

"Believe that" - I think.

"There is a general belief that ..." - several other guys think so too.

“Correct up to an order of magnitude” is wrong.

"According to statistics," rumor has it.

"Statistically oriented testing of the significance of these discoveries" is a guess at random.

"Careful analysis of all data achieved" - Three pages of entries were lost when I knocked over a glass of beer.

"It is clear that a lot of additional work will be required before a full understanding of this phenomenon is reached" - I do not understand that.

"After additional research done by my colleagues" - they don't understand this either.

“I would like to express my gratitude to Joe Blotz for his help with this experiment and Andrea Schaffer for valuable discussions" - Mr. Blotz did all the work, and Miss Schaffer explained to me what it all means.

"A very significant area waiting to be further explored" is a completely useless topic chosen by my committee.

"We hope this research stimulates further work in this area" - I quit the game.

Barry's Rule for Residents seconded to a clinic for specialization

If you stop thinking, remember to start again later.

Jackson's rule

In teaching medical students, it should be of paramount importance to keep them awake at all times.


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